This Isn’t Goodbye

For the past few days I have been putting off writing this post because I had assumed that it had to be written at the right time, and that moment hadn’t come yet. I thought that writing this post would mean finally and definitely letting go, that it would mean something I loved would be truly dead, gone and forgotten forever. And I thought that would make me sad.
As I clicked the text box to start writing this post just a few seconds ago, however, I realised how exciting and utterly anything but solemn this post will be

I will no longer be posting on this blog, as the month of absence would suggest. In it’s place, however, comes a new blog that I am so incredibly excited for you all to see. After contacting me about starting her own channel, I asked my friend Susie if she would like to start a blog together. The next day, we began working on the site and today (only four days later),  BLKROOM is looking chic as hell and already has many posts for your viewing pleasure! (some of which you may recognise from this blog!)

I have been juggling with the thought of leaving either blogging or YouTube behind for 2015, but I am overjoyed to share that this year will see not only the start of a bigger, much better blog, but also the return of TRF on YouTube! My channel will be up and running very soon and I know that this is the start of much better content on the TRF channel.

God has blessed me incredibly with the chance to collaborate and therefore share more content with you guys and I am so incredibly grateful for all of the support you’ve given me throughout the journey of the TRF blog. Oddly, I’m relieved to leave this blog behind- my heart was no longer in it, making it difficult to post- and I am so thankful and excited for the opportunity to start fresh here in the blogging world and on YouTube, and I hope you’ll join me in this new chapter!

Much love, God bless, and I’ll see you over there 😉

– Fush.


Redemption Cupcakes. (i forgot my dad’s birthday)

Remember that time I forgot my dad’s birthday?

Oh right that was two days ago.

So I may have come home from dance on Thursday to my wonderful father making dinner for my mum and I, when my mum said “have you wished your dad happy birthday yet?”

I hadn’t.

Infact, I had completely forgotten! Giftless, cardless, and a horrible daughter, today I set myself on a mission to make it up to him. Okay, that may have overhyped it… just cupcakes guys, no flash mobs or laser light shows.


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Sexual Abuse Is A Bigger Problem On YouTube Than You Thought.

TW: sexual abuse. Disclaimer: Just a girl with thoughts and a hope for a better community.

Last night I stayed up until 3:00AM following a trail of links around the internet. Although I wish I now had cute cat videos and fail gifs to share with you all, unfortunately the endless videos and tumblr posts I was viewing were from this masterpost. That, my friends, is a masterpost documenting the accounts of sexual harassment, abuse and even assault that various people have opened up about, and the responses (if any) that the formerly (and, sickeningly, even currently) idolised, respected, successful YouTubers have made.

You’ve probably heard that Sam Pepper has been accused of rape. I say ‘accused’ because I am not those girls who have shared their stories and he has not confessed, but there is absolutely no doubt in my heart and mind that the accounts and claims linked in the masterpost are honest and true. Sam’s actions and his victims’ responses and stories present an extremely fascinating and disgusting story (the disgusting part being his actions, the fascinating part his pathetic attempts (and lackthereof) to defend himself), a case I think is worth learning more about.

Now, after watching a few videos regarding Sam’s actions, I was sickened. But if after only watching a few videos I was having a mild flu, then opening the masterpost gave me a terminal illness. The amount of YouTubers that have been ‘outed’ as sexual harassers and abusers, some of minors and of other YouTube content creators, is something I did not realised existed. I was aware of the issue of “YouTube culture” but I did not know that the abuse of power briefly mentioned in many videos regarding the platform’s culture was something that had actively occurred in the past, is occurring now, and to such a severe extent. Sam Pepper’s story is only one of the many cases of successful YouTubers taking advantage of their platform and fan base, manipulating girls and boys, most underage at the time, into unwanted sexual encounters. This is an extremely serious issue that much of the wider YouTube community is not aware of or had sort of brushed aside like I had before curiously clicking that first video regarding Sam’s actions.

I’m not going to into detail about each case, there’s a shitload of stuff linked on the masterpost (unfortunately) that you can check out, I assure you it’s worth a read/watch. Instead, I want to talk about what we, as consumers and creators in the YouTube community can do.

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Staying Sane and Stress Survival


We all go through stressful times in our lives. Usually, exams are a blast for me (‘study’ periods, time off school, waking up late and having to focus for only a few hours :’) ), however this time around, that hasn’t been the case. I can’t quite describe why, but I’ve been swaying back and forth across the border between “life is great” and “what’s the point in anything” for a while now. I guess it’s mix of everything, newly frequent dance classes, real exams that mean [very little but still] something, a quest to constantly be constructive and productive, and a very foggy, hormonal, not-yet-developed teenage brain.
I wouldn’t describe this situation as feeling like chaos, or a cliché whirlwind. Instead, it feels more like a wasteland. Like piles of faded-brown scraps and debris littered across a desert, as far as the eye can see; and your job is to pick up each piece of rusted metal, every last sundried magazine clipping. It feels like life is one big task that seems so impossible, filled with thousands and thousands of little things we must do… Yeah, the teenage heart ain’t fond of responsibility.

Despite it all (oh, this difficult first world teenage life we live), we push through; and here are somethings that have been keeping sane/happy/alive: Continue reading

half moon in manual

 To defend my lack of studying, I’ve been coming up with some jewellery designs over the weekend to make me feel more ‘productive’. Though I didn’t come up with an abundance of designs, it gave me an awesome opportunity to continue practicing  shooting in manual mode on my camera.

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How to be a Zombie.

Step 1: Survive the global apocalypse of the planet Earth

Step 2: Find a zombie (that shouldn’t be difficult)

Step 3: Get bitten by said zombie

Note: if living in the pre-apocalyptic era, simply follow this tutorial for similar results- minus the living-dead part.

Happy Halloween!



World War

It’s amazing that after countless civil wars and even two world wars, the black and white photos of dirty men, homeless children and strewn bodies unrecognisable from other weapon debris that we associate with war can still be seen in living, breathing colour today.




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For some reason I brought my sketchbook and fineliners to church on Sunday, but not my house keys.
So, I spent service and the half hour I was locked out of my house (fortunately my ancient apartment complex has a restaurant- that sells coconuts!) inking up this thang.

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I’ve been doing some face studies of the one and only Maisie Williams [as Arya Stark] for an upcoming piece (and by “upcoming”, you best believe it’ll be at least a few months before you and I see the finished product, I am not. a fast. worker.) and though this was supposed to be a quick sketch, this one turned out pretty good!

Hope you all are well! [and if you’re in exam season, I hope you’re working hard and taking some breaks! (as i’m clearly doing- well, the latter)]